Day 9

Hol-y cow.  It's Day 9.  I knew I kept saying I knew I was going to make it... but deep down I don't think I really believed myself until now.  Day 9... wow.

It's 1:37pm now.  I totally slept in today.  I woke up at 7:30 to eliminate three friggin times.  My stomach hurt really bad and I was pissed I had to keep getting out of bed.  So by 8 I decided I would get up but just close my eyes a few minutes more.  Sure enough I fell back asleep til about noon.  I did the salt water flush and (now that my battery is working....  I <3>

I can't believe I'm still eliminating that grainy solid stuff.  It's started to smell too ut not the foul smell that I read should be uh..smelling.  I think I am SO toxic it took about a week for the cleanse to begin (I read it usually starts after about the 3rd day).  The next time I do the cleanse (Oh yes... there will definitely be a next time) I will stay on it longer.  

I am seriously thirsty today.  I'm gonna make my first glass (probably 2) and drink some ice cold water.  OMG I'm thirsty.

9:50pm:  Again...  I can NOT believe it's been NINE days!  Okay...  Went to class... blah blah blah...had a drink.. I was really really hungry so now having another (6 today).  It didn't help when I opened my fridge to get the syrup and seeing some delicious meat in a ziploc bag... hah I don't even know what kind of meat it was.  All I know is that I want it.  

I only have two lemons left.  I went from getting too many lemons the first trip to Whole Foods to not enough the second trip.  I only need like two more so I'm going to try and track down organic lemons in Harlem somewhere so I don't have to go to Whole Foods.  It would just figure if I cracked the last day of the cleanse.  

My professor was eating her dinner in class before it technically started.  It almost killed me.  I think it was some kind of Halal.  Mmmmmm...  I can NOT wait for this weekend.  

My skin is SO dry.  Not saying it's the cleanse.  It's probably the weather.  But it's never been this dry in my life.  It actually hurts.  Especially my face (this is where my mother would say... "And it's killing me!").

Oh yea so earlier I was bored and lonely...what else is new... and decided since the cutie hadn't called me I would call him.  I decided to do the opposite of everything the old Kate would do.  The old Kate wouldn't call... so the new Kate called.  He was going to the gym and I said he could come by if he's bored after he could come by.  That was an hour and a half ago so I guess he's not coming... but at least I tried.  I don't care he's not coming and I am happy that I asked.  :-)  

12:05am:  Ahhhh  he called.  :-)  But this isn't about boys...  ahhh but he caaalled.  And he remembered tomorrow is the last day of my fast. :-)  He listened.  

I forgot to mention that when I was walking to school today I started to feel really paranoid and guilty for smoking weed before class... and then I was like... wait...  I totally DIDN'T smoke anything.  I felt like I was high.  It was really really weird and lasted a good hour.  

I am having major issues with going back to eating.  I like.. don't want to do it.  Obviously I want to eat cause I keep talking about it...  but I like that I'm losing weight.  I like that food isn't a part of my life right now.  I'm afraid to gain all the weight back.  I want to keep losing weight.  I want to get to my goal weight.  I've been saying this now for yeeears.  Now's the time.  God I really want to do it.  I just don't know how.  I need to come up with a new diet game plan.  Weight Watchers again?  That did work the first time.  I wish my mom would pay for the meetings.  The meetings definitely helped.  Calorie counting?  Or maybe just the Graduate student diet... which entails being dead broke and not being able to afford food.  Yea that sounds like the most realistic plan.  I hope I don't start smoking cigarettes to help with not eating.  Part of me wants to keep drinking the lemonade...  at least for breakfast.  I don't know why I haven't read anyone who just drinks the lemonade like once a day.  Is that pointless?  Is it harmful? 

Sleep now... or at least lying awake thinking of this guy's body.  You just really don't understand.  It's perfect.  That's also making me feel insecure... cause mine is totally not.  Agh.  I'll stop thinking about my body and just think about his... on mine. :-)